Unfortunately, self-sabotage shows its unpleasant face in many different life situations!
You started this diet and then that amazing cake is staring at you and you get weak. That interesting new business idea you've wanted to work on for several months, but your procrastination is all too present again. Clearing out the house is urgently needed, but somehow something always gets in the way. Quitting smoking worked for several days, but then you got angry with your boss or partner and inhaled a whole pack by the end of the evening.
If you can’t relate to one of these examples or similar self-sabotage situations, please contact me immediately - I want to meet such an exceptional example:-)!
Why do we get in our own way and sabotage ourselves?
3 Main Reasons (often it is a Mixture):
1. Fear of Failure: We are afraid of not living up to our high expectations or those of others. Many of us are perfectionists -the expectation to perform 100% creates a lot of pressure and can paralyze us instead of going ahead and doing what we plan to do.
2. Our mean Comfort Zone: The comfort zone is called the comfort zone because it feels so familiar and safe to stay there even though we often feel miserable! It's easier and more comfortable to get upset that we haven't managed to move our butts than to finally find ways to change. Change often scares us so our Monkey Mind creates resistance on a subconscious level!
3. Lack of Self-Confidence & Negative Self-Concept: Success and happiness in life feel wrong when you believe you are not good enough. As children, we were often taught we could never achieve certain things or that we should be satisfied with little. What we think about ourselves is reflected in our experiences in life (I go into the connection between Self-Concept and Money Mindset in my Podcast #9 "Manifesting Money" in the "Podcasts" section here on my website).
So how can we get rid of this pesky self-sabotage?
Identify your self-sabotage pattern: What am I doing and how does it feel? What am I thinking and is it really true? Why am I thinking these thoughts? How do they prevent me from doing certain things?
The wonderful Louise Hay said:
"If you want to clean your house, you must first see the dirt!"
Once you're aware of your negative thoughts, write them down and turn them into positive affirmations to change your self-talk into positive ones.
Examples:
I feel tired and too weak to go to the gym = I'll get dressed and go to the gym now. Showing up and having fun is my goal today.
I don't have discipline. I'm too lazy = It's okay not always to feel motivated. I can be grumpy and still start. I love myself. I can do this.
I feel overwhelmed and don't have enough time = I breathe and relax. I do one thing at a time. I am divinely guided. Everything happens at the right time. I decide to have fun doing this now.
You can find more examples in my blog post “Bye Bye Self-Criticism”!
Be patient with yourself and celebrate small steps instead of trying to be perfect - perfection doesn't exist and it's not even desirable because it keeps us from just having fun! Dare to be happily imperfect! Instead of being intimidated by a big end result or goal, focus only on the next few hours and milestones.
And of course, as you may have seen on my website, I'm a HUGE fan of EFT Tapping!
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is perfect for transforming those beastly beliefs easily, quickly, and effectively on a deep, subconscious level once and forever! Read details of my recorded self-paced Courses!
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